Misfit Phone Call Fun
by Red Witch
Summary: The Misfits have rung up the phone bill again, oh dear. Roadblock's getting stressed.


**The Disclaimer telling all of you that I don't own any X-Men Evolution or GI Joe characters has been put on hold. Just another mad one shot fic for fun.**

**Misfit Phone Call Fun**

"All right! Family meeting!" Roadblock called out. "EVERYONE DOWN HERE NOW!"

"Okay what did we do this time?" Althea asked as the Misfits trudged down to the living room.

"A lot of things but specifically this," Roadblock let a large roll of paper fall to the ground. "Does anybody know what this is?"

"A piece of paper that is very long?" Xi blinked.

"Good guess," Roadblock said. "This is what is called a phone bill. For those of you who do not understand this concept let me explain it to you. For every call you make you are charged money. How much money you are charged depends on how long you talk and where you place the call. I just thought I'd explain this concept to all of you since you seem to think that phone calls magically happen for your benefit."

"You mean they don't?" Xi asked innocently.

"Doesn't Hawk pay our bills?" Lina asked.

"I'm glad you mentioned that Lina," Roadblock said. "In fact he called me up today to talk about this month's phone bill. Apparently we are tied with the national debt of Belize. So he decided to have a talk with me and told me to have a little talk with you or next time we're all going to have a talk with the friendly folks of the firing squad."

"Oh come on Roadblock how bad could this bill be?" Spirit looked at it. "Yikes…"

"Uh oh," Lance said. "You know when Spirit says 'yikes' that's not good."

"No it is not. Let's go over this bill," Roadblock looked at it. "Now I've gone over the expense bill. Obviously I have made allowances for family calls."

"Those of us who still have families," Arcade grumbled.

"Sure, blame me for having a loving parent," Angelica told him.

"Well that only accounts for not even 10 percent of this bill," Roadblock said. "Now let's start with this one. Who's been calling the Hot Babe Party line? **Besides **Shipwreck?"

"How do you know it was me?" Shipwreck asked.

"The same way we know birds fly and fish swim," Cover Girl said. "It's inevitable. Okay fess up. Which of you guys has been talking on it?"

Pietro, Arcade, Shipwreck and the Blind Master raised their hands. So did Xi. "I wanted to know what the party was all about," Xi answered.

"Yeah no real surprises here," Roadblock sighed. "And Xi we all know monkey see monkey do."

"Perverts," Wanda folded her arms.

"Okay who dialed Dial A Stud?" Roadblock glared. Cover Girl, Wanda, Angelica, Lina, Althea, Spyder and the Triplets sheepishly put up their hands. "Yeah there's a shock."

"I just did it to see what it was like," Lina confessed sheepishly. "Althea dialed the number!"

"AL!" Todd shouted.

"Only once," Althea defended. "To spy on **them**!" She pointed to the Triplets and Spyder.

"Okay that I believe," Todd folded his arms.

"You would," Arcade chuckled. "What else?"

"Seven calls to unlisted numbers?" Roadblock looked at the bill.

"We were talking to some friends at SHEILD," Brittany said.

"It had nothing to do with selling illegal weapons," Quinn said quickly.

"Or buying plutonium," Daria added.

"Well that explains why the rosebush has been glowing outside for a week," Angelica said.

"Three calls to Dial a Prayer?" Roadblock asked.

"That was me," Lance held his hand up. "But don't pay it. Summers and Colossus are still alive."

"What about this one?" Roadblock asked. "The National Bird Conservatory? Who would make 12 calls there?"

Everyone looked at Polly who whistled innocently. "I don't want to know…" Roadblock rolled his eyes. "I do **not **want to know!"

"Seven calls to the Fashion Hotline?" Spyder looked at the bill. "Gee I wonder who made those calls?"

"You know very well that the Fall season is just starting!" Pietro snapped. "I need to stay on top of these things. If you want to talk extravagant what about those sixteen calls to Japan huh?"

"I am a ninja master and I need to keep in contact with the clan overseas," The Blind Master told them.

"Aren't two of these numbers geisha houses?" Spirit asked him.

"I have contacts there," The Blind Master said quickly. "If anyone's activities on the phone are circumspect it would be Shipwreck. I overheard him making one of his weekly calls to the Double Helix Ranch the other day!"

"The Mutant Brothel?" Lance's ears perked up.

"Oh I gotta hear the excuse for this one," Althea glared at her father.

"Look it's not what you think," Shipwreck said. "Okay it's mostly not what you think. I've made a few…friends and we like to keep in touch. That's all."

"Oh that is all, all right!" Althea snapped. "And you guys complain about **our **phone habits? You adults are worse than we are!"

"The only calls I made this week were to my sister Una," Low Light pointed out.

"Well that's because you've been making all your other calls at the X-Mansion," Spirit pointed out. "Speaking of which I see there have been one hundred and sixteen calls this month there."

"Gee I wonder who could have made those?" Fred asked sarcastically as he looked at Lance.

"It's bad enough we see them practically every day," Pietro snapped. "Do you have to call Kitty so many times?"

"Hey I tried to call them collect but the others kept slamming the phone down and cutting me off," Lance told them. "Besides Pietro you're one to talk, you made at least 13 prank phone calls there."

"Oh come on," Pietro put his hands on his hips. "You can't tell me you didn't enjoy Iceman singing like Brittany Spears when he thought he was on the radio?"

"What about this one?" Daria looked at the bill. "Barney hotline?"

"I was desperate okay?" Cover Girl snapped. "The babies were fussy and I thought it would put them to sleep."

"Did it work?" Lina asked.

"No but it gave me nightmares," Cover Girl moaned.

"What about all these phone calls to the Caribbean?" Shipwreck asked.

"Just to talk to my Granny," Fred pouted. "And cousin Earl. He just started a new job down there. He's helping to overthrow the dictator he helped put into power because the guy stiffed his bill."

"Okay…" Roadblock. "Like I said family calls are fine as long…"

"Oh and my cousin Luis in Mexico," Fred added.

"Isn't he still in prison?" Todd asked.

"Yeah but he just won the Mr. Mafia title for the second year," Fred nodded. "And my Aunt Ralph…"

"Aunt Ralph?" Lina asked.

"Don't ask," Lance groaned.

"Who do we know in Wales?" Roadblock asked. "Okay this is what I am talking about, I am taking a stand. These phone bills are way out of hand!"

"Hey what about these calls?" Wanda looked over his shoulder. "The Gourmet Recipe line and Sports Hotline?"

"Those were legitimate calls," Roadblock told her.

"Yeah right," Wanda scoffed.

"Okay from now on we are going to follow a very simple rule," Roadblock said. "Unless it's an emergency or family no more phone calls from here. From now on we do all our calling from the Xavier Institute. Got it?"

"Yeah works for me," Pietro shrugged. "But what happens when he reads his bill?"

"Do what everyone else does and blame Bobby," Wanda told him.


End file.
